How Can I Make a girl like me?

[Dupree Slim]

I recently went to a school dance with a girl whom is a grade above me (Im a junior in high school and she's a senior). I asked her for her phone number about 3 weeks before the dance she gave me it and her cell phone. We went out to eat, to the dance, the whole bit. I asked her if there was a possibility of us seeing each other and she said she doesnt know because (she broke up with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago) and she ''is still getting over him''. Oh he was like, 20. Is she saying this to cover up that she doesnt want 2 go out with me? What should I say to her and what should I do?
Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lestat]

How old is she?

[AlexAnt]

If you had just broken up with a girlfriend whom you really liked and three weeks later were asked by another gal if there were a possibility of her seeing you, how would you feel? Or rather, not having all the information, how could you feel?

Not a rhetorical question, just something to ponder.

Alex

[Dupree Slim]

Shes 18, that is tru Alex, o my names Alex, too, thats cool, anyway, yeah, I feel u, I guess I shouldn't have stopped calling her.

[Manic]

Sounds like you have a chance in my opinion, just be consistent but not pushy as in be around and let her know you are interested but don't ask for any definites. This will let her know that you respect her. High school is an easy place to run into people and you can also ask if she'd like to go out somewhere sometime after school not as a "date" ( though don't actually say that) but just to get to know her. Keep it light and be patient but don't be afraid show her you like her (girls like to be pursued). That's all the advice I can give.

[Dupree Slim]

Thanx:)

[cpbs3]

Just be you, it works trust me.

[Thenoisefrom551]

I buy the "just be you" stuff... but the truth is that there is no way to MAKE someone like you.

You can do things to make them not like you, but I think the like /love thing is chemical or magical or spiritual... I really do not know exactly, but I do know that there is no simple formula.

I think we spend way too much time trying to convince our critics of how special we are that we fail to notice those around us that are already convinced of our virtues.

Just my 2-cents...

TNF551


:cool:

[Pandora1980]

I think she most likely wasn't lying about needing to get over this guy. From what I've seen from myself, my sister and my friends, it looks like older guys are much harder to get over than guys closer to your own age. I'd advise you to play it a little cooler than you normally would but don't refrain from letting her know that you're attracted to her and like to talk to her etc.

Let her get over this guy but show her how charming and wonderful you are. Chances are a 20 year old guy doesn't have all that much to offer... From my experience with college freshmen and sophomores, all they think about is sex and drinking... oh yeah, and sex and drinking. (Sorry if I offended anyone, there are some good ones).

Anyway, be the nice guy, let her get over him, but help her do so and show her how much she was missing while she was dating him.

[hopeless1]

baby don't rush a girl be her frined first then drop little lines here and there saying u like her and you wanna be with her write her poems or love letters and go slow

[meg]

You don't make people like you! Always be yourself, people will either like you or they wont. The sooner you are able to do this, the sooner you will find happiness. You tried, she declined, move on. She knows how you feel, there is nothing left for you to do. If she decides she wants to be with you, she will make it known. In the mean time move on and have a good time. Life is to short to be spent waiting for someone. meg

[Thenoisefrom551]

I agree with meg... (sort of)

Life is too short to be spent waiting for someone -- unless she is beautiful...;)

...and you should always be yourself -- but it is OK to smooth out the rough edges...

Go bucks!

TNK551
:cool:

[voland]

Don't believe that "I'm getting over a guy" crap. The bottom line is this; if a person is interested in being with you then it doesn't matter if they broke up with their boyfriend/girlfriend two hours before... they WILL be with you.

And don't be "yourself." Give the girl what she wants in a mate first, and over time your natural personality will come out and she'll either learn to love it or bail on you. This is what everybody does by the way, they look their best, they are on their best behaviour, etc., at least for the first few dates.

[Thenoisefrom551]

Give the girl what she wants in a mate first

Yikes!!!!

I agree that you should put your best foot forward, (e.g. shower (with soap), mix in a razor, change your drawers, find lawful employment and try to remember all those “manners things” you mom taught you) but the last post sounds like a recipe for disaster.

If you need to totally change who and what you are just to get someone to like you, one of two things will happen – and both suck.

1) Eventually, the other persons sees through your act – because you can’t pretend to like opera, her cat, ABBA and that pack of !@#$%^& she calls friends forever – after a while she (or more likely the pack of !@#$%^&) will uncover the truth – Result: They leave…(the one you are trying to please, not the pack...)

2) You get sick and tired of pretending to be something that you are not and become resentful of the other person for not liking the "real you" – Result: You leave…

Either way, you have just wasted a lot of your time and theirs.

There are a couple of exceptions to this rule – if the "real you" is abusive, addicted to some harmful substance or activity, or prone to criminal pursuits then disregard the above… You probably need to change…


…of course this is just a generalization and ALL generalizations are bad.

TNF551

:cool:

[voland]

Whoa there! I NEVER said act like someone you're not! -- that really is a recipe for disaster -- merely put your best foot forward. That said, however, people can be incredibly tolerant of their suitor's bad behavior once they've slept with the suitor; the investment's been made, and most people tend to seek out there partner's good points, rather than admit they made a mistake.

[Thenoisefrom551]

Whoa there! I NEVER said act like someone you're not!
Cool! Thanks for explaining!!! I think you and I are on the same page now...

Sorry if I misread your post, I know a lot of people that have tried to be someone different just to impress a women (including the one typing this) and it always seems to turn out bad...

I once pretended to be very close to someone that I had only met once -- just to spend a little quality time with an attractive young lady that was obsessed with my “friend.” Needless to say, that relationship didn't last more than a few hours... ;)

I would like to add that this was many many years ago, before I moved to Eden (the 5th floor) and acquired he knowledge of good and evil.

TNF551
:cool:

[meg]

i really disagree with alot of volands comments...
Voland, may ask your age? Meg

[voland]

Meg, I'm going to leave you guessing my age. But I will say this, that I'm probably much older than you... and clearly far more experienced. It seems to me, Meg, that you are more interested in passing yourself off as a "good" person... and "enlightened" person... in other words... a real "catch," than in telling the honest to goodness truth.

I've read some of your previous posts, and either you're living in your own little dream world where the Prince and Sleeping Beauty live happely ever after... or you are clinically sane, but don't have a clue on how to interact with the opposite sex.

[Karbonopsinos]

Voland is a 31 year old baby ;)

[voland]

That's very Christian of you Karbonopsinos! why don't you go back to tearing off the wings of flies and leave me the f*!k alone.

You see everyone... Karbonopsinos thinks genitals are a dirty thing you shouldn't talk about... they are spiritually "unclean"... maybe we should all get our genitals "blessed" by priests like the alterboys do -- you know, like we've all been reading in the news lately. Celibacy is "clearly" the way to go for Karbonopsinos.

[Karbonopsinos]

Whoa there, cool down....you've made a mountain out of a molehill. I didn't do anything to you.

I'm not Catholic or Orthodox. I don't go to a priest. And your little speech, which attacks the religion of around 1.2 billion people, is pretty outrageous.

[meg]

To be completely honest, Voland...I would be a catch!
I know what my value is and I will not accept any less.
I know what I want for my life and for my daughters.
I have alot of experience. I have always found great amusement and knowledge in new experiences and adventures. I was surprised to find out you were over 30 -- smiles Meg

[Thenoisefrom551]

I would be a catch!

Hey, I don't mean to interupt, but what do you mean "would be"???

You sound like you ARE A CATCH.


TNF551
:cool:

[meg]

rose colored cheeks and a bright smile -- thank you, TNF551

[Marinerblue]

I would send her something like this:

Hi XXXX,

While I appreciate you have just broken up with your boyfriend, what I do not see in your email is any kind of positive statement that getting together with me is something you really do want to do.

Since I am sure you are not the kind of person whose intent is to cause doubt or confusion, could you please let me know if I should be thinking about moving on, or if you are someone who does see the value in us spending some time together.

I don't want to read into things, but I also don't want to go somewhere I am not welcomed. I'm sure you can appreciate that as sensible and smart.

Bye from YYYYY

[Gan]

Originally posted by voland
Whoa there! I NEVER said act like someone you're not! -- that really is a recipe for disaster -- merely put your best foot forward. That said, however, people can be incredibly tolerant of their suitor's bad behavior once they've slept with the suitor; the investment's been made, and most people tend to seek out there partner's good points, rather than admit they made a mistake.

Which is why people shouldn't sleep together until they've been together for a long time so they know they can trust each other. I can't begin to understand why people get in bed with people they've only been dating for a week or a month, it just lowers your self worth and makes you an animal. Making love to somebody is just that - sex is not a casual activity for you to get your rocks off.

-Gan

[voland]

"I can't begin to understand why people get in bed with people they've only been dating for a week or a month, it just lowers your self worth and makes you an animal. Making love to somebody is just that - sex is not a casual activity for you to get your rocks off."

Oh, I think you can understand why people jump into bed.

I don't think waiting until the second or third date lowers a person's self worth. As far as making a person an animal... news flash: people are animals! Unless of course you are a vegatable or mineral.

Making love is completely different than having sex. Having sex IS a casual activity for getting your rocks off.

[defyant]

I can't begin to understand why people get in bed with people they've only been dating for a week or a month, it just lowers your self worth and makes you an animal. Making love to somebody is just that - sex is not a casual activity for you to get your rocks off.

What..?! Worry...newbie poster here, but I have to say that this is just about the most outrageous thing I've ever read. The next time your diddling with you didgets in your nether reasons, remind yourself that you're not a sexual animal...

Sex is sex...and sex does -not- equal love. I would think that people posting on Acmelove. would know the difference?

[Gan]

You misunderstand me both of you and you've thrown my comments way out of proportion. I know perfectly well that people believe there is a difference between the two. The deciding factor is emotional attachment, and obviously if you don't have that with somebody why are you sleeping with them in the first place? Sex is a gift that a loving couple share together - it's only been transformed into an "activity" by people like yourselves...

And I meant wild animals fellas, a category which you both fall quite neatly under :)

-Gan

[voland]

Amen to that! I am an animal and PROUD of it.

Hmmm... who would make the better lover, in the eyes of most women? A polite young man who asks before he takes: "Excuse me ma'am, but would you mind if I touched your right breast?" ,"Could I have a kiss now... if it's ok with you, that is?"

or.... would they rather have a man who takes them -- a man who knows what he wants and who isn't ashamed of his manhood? -- in other words, an ANIMAL!

Ever read those romance novels that are so popular with women, Gan?

[meg]

Evidentally you haven't Voland...

In most romance novels, the male is a strong character of course, he is dominate, he typically isn't arrogant, he may seem a bit rough around the edges, but it soon shows what a genuine man he is, he is honest, loyal and yes, he takes what he wants in the bedroom...

But even the more reserved men, dont need to worry, when a women is secure with herself, and knows what she wants, she will take as well as give! Meg

[angel143ml]

:angel6:

I'D HAVE TO AGREE WITH WHAT BOTH MEG AND GAN SAID. MAKING LOVE IS SOMETHING TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP DO IN ORDER TO FURTHER BOND WITH EACHOTHER AND TO EXPRESS HOW THEY FEEL TOWARDS EACHOTHER. AND YES, WHEN A WOMAN IS SECURE ENOUGH, SHE WILL GIVE BACK AS MUCH AS SHE GETS, KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS, AND HOW TO GET IT!

AS FOR THE ORIGINAL QUESTION, YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU, THEY EITHER DO OR THEY DON'T.
WHEN TWO PEOPLE BREAK UP, BOTH PEOPLE USUALLY NEED SOMETIME TO HEAL AND MOVE ON. HOWEVER, IF YOU ARE SMART YOU'LL STAY IN THE PICTURE AND BE THERE FOR HER AS A FRIEND AND NOT PRESSURE HER INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP RIGHT AWAY. BUT AT THE SAME TIME LET HER KNOW YOU LIKE HER AND DO THINGS WITH HER, BUT WITHOUT PRESSURING HER, THAT WAY YOU'LL BE THER FOR HER WHEN SHE'S READY FOR ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP.HOPE THIS HELPS!
:angel6:

[voland]

I'm proud to say I've only read a couple trashy novels in my life. Evidentally, you're a bodice-ripper expert, Meg. Do you have a life at all, or do you just live vicariously through the heroines of your soft core porn?

Tell you what; do me a favor and take off the moo moo and fuzzy slippers you're wearing, put down the bag of Doritos, turn off your computer, and get off your fat ass and join the real world for a change -- maybe then I'll respect your comments to my postings.

I can picture you in my mind, Meg. And it's scary, scary, scary... care to send me a picture meg? I'll show you mine if you show me yours. :)

[meg]

( laughing ) I have no problem sending you my picture, Voland.

You are sooooo wrong! ( laughing )

I post here when I take a break from studying or working.

As far as my life goes, don't worry about me, I have it covered!

[Thenoisefrom551]

All opinions are welcome here, but if you are trying to make up for you pathetic life by trashing folks – just know this – we all know the truth... and its not pretty loser.

V, my boy, I’m sure with band practice, your dermatologists appointments, riding your skateboard, masturbating and all that extra geometry homework, you think you lead a full life. Just wait a few years or get a real GF and then you’ll see what life is really all about.

And if you want to give me the same bull you gave Meg about a life -- just for the hell of it lets compare looks, social lives, paychecks, girl friends and the number of times you’ve knocked boots in the past few days -- You’ll be 0 for 5.


It is fun reading your posts... you are so clueless… it is soooo obvious that you have never had a girl in your life... keep'em coming virgin…


TNF551

BTW, "knocking boots" means having sex - with a LIVE girl -- not online -- not on the phone via a 900 number -- noty with Rosy Palm -- no credit card or cash payment required...

;)

[voland]

Ok, this is becoming tedious.

Thenoisefrom551, I'm a 31 year old man living in Las Vegas, Nevada. That's the "city of sin," for those of you with the mentality of "Thenoisefrom511." And I assure you, I couldn't help but have a very active social life living here, even if I wanted to.

And if you want to give me the same bull you gave Meg about a life -- just for the hell of it lets compare looks, social lives, paychecks, girl friends and the number of times you've knocked boots in the past few days -- You'll be 0 for 5.

I'm game, just how to you propose to do this, numb-nuts? By sending me a picture of you good looking boyfriend, your father's bank statements, your sister e-mailing me claiming to have slept with you?

In closing: judging by your grasp of the English language, I'd say you're still stuck in high school doing extra geometry homework, getting beatup by men like me, and visiting a dermatologist.

Thats it for me folks, you'll get no further response at this post. The End.

[meg]

Does this mean you don't want to see my picture, Voland?


( smiling ) Always good to know you're around, TNF. You're such an adorable man. Quite refreshing indeed. Meg

[Thenoisefrom551]

V,

I was just making a point... No one wants to be trashed here with baseless BS... I just want you to stop jumping on people that have different opinions -- disagree all you want -- just lay off the name-calling and personal attacks...

For this little corner of the Web, it really doesn't matter if you are 13 or 31, male or female, a CEO or a bum, Brad Pitt or the Elephant Man. Part of the magic of the Internet is that you can be whatever you want online... and on these boards, you should be free to express your opinions without being attacked.

Lastly, a social life is not about where you live -- it is about the people in your life. Your social life can suck in LA or Vegas or be off the hook in Fargo or Fairbanks.

TNF551
:cool:

[AlexAnt]

Whoa, I just realized this thread is over 7 months old.

[reign226]

Well, after reading Voland's posts. I have to say this: so much for first impressions. Thenoisefrom551 is right. It's not hard to be courteous and give optional opinions based on facts minus all those degratory remarks. I'm getting a feeling that you're trying to express your power and dominance and lemme tell you, all your real life muscle won't aid an online lexicon fight. Next time, be nice and lay off personal remarks.

[Tyler]

We are cool, ok? :p

[Lady]

Just be yourself.

[Byron]

Originally posted by Lady
Just be yourself.

simple but wise words.