What can I do for him when...

[RosaMystica7]

Ok... I was hanging out with my boyfriend yesterday. I have this way of knowing when someone I care about is sick, tired, or angry but I always get those three confused. I got in the car with him, looked at him, and asked him if he was okay cuz I knew something was wrong. He said he was fine so I just assumed he was tired. I asked him again later if he was okay and he said yeah he's fine. So we went to the pond... we have a flock of swans, geese, and ducks we feed there. :D Got back in the truck and snuggled up cuz it was snowing and we were both freezing. I asked him again if he was okay and he said he had a stomach ache, which is weird for him cuz usually he can eat anything and everything and it doesn't bother him. We usually leave around 9:45ish to go home... at 9:10 he asked if it were alright if we left a little early, I said sure and told him to tell me when he wanted to go... at 9:15 he wanted to leave... well... uhh... we only made it half way home until he pulled into a parking lot jumped out of his car and threw up. :( So he took me home and I told him to call me if he needed me.

He wasn't in school today, and I called him and he said he's been sick and sleeping all day. I told him if he wants company I'll go over (sickness doesn't scare me) and if he needs anything to call me. I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do to make him feel better. Guys what would you want your girls to do in this situation? Any advice from anyone?

[Kaisharga]

Going on the guys-are-just-big-teddy-bears line of thought, one of the best things you can do is to basically wait on him hand and foot. (At least, I think that's the right saying.) If he wants you there, be there. If he wants you to get him something to drink, get him something to drink. (NOT something that would make his condition worse, like anything alcohol-related.) Show him that you care for his well-being, and would be willing to do anything to make his condition more bearable. That kind of gesture is really a good one to make to your sig. other.

And, confidentially, I can say to wait on him hand and foot without controversy, because us guys have to do the exact same thing anyway.

--Kaisharga

[RosaMystica7]

He said he didn't want me there yesterday so I didn't go, I just told him if he needed anything to call me... he was absent again so I was going to make a suprise trip over there. But my mom and I got into a fight and she refuses to drive me or let me take my bike. (I'm supposed to go sign up to get my permit but I have to go in person and both of my parents keep putting it off... and I'm 17 now and could be working on my liscence but they won't take me up there to get my permit grrr.) I can't drive and my dad works. It'd be about an hour walk and it's raining. So I have no way of getting there. I feel horrible but I can't get there. Now he's probably going to think I don't care cuz I didn't go over when he was sick. :bawling: No I know he's not like that but still I feel bad.

I'm 17 and my parents still treat me like I'm a baby. :redhot: They try to make me out to be this big monster who doesn't care about anyone or anything but when I try to they won't let me. I love him and nothing they do is going to stop that... I just wish I could do something for him now... :(

[Kaisharga]

Well, if he said to give him some space, then let him have his space. It's just important to put his wants before yours in this kind of situation, moreso than usual even. And if you can't be there physically, then, oh well. He may call you on the phone, and you two can talk for a while or whatever. Don't worry too much about the parental restraints--you can't do what you can't do, right? And worrying and steaming over it won't make it any better.

Regarding the driving thing, I'd start saving up to possibly purchase a used car sometime soon, that way they can't say 'no you can't borrow the car' because it'll be yours ;) The temp-training thing is a little more on the weird side of things, though. *shrug*

--Kaisharga

[RosaMystica7]

LoL Kai I wish I could get a car but what's the point if I don't have the permit to drive one. In NY at 16 you can get your permit - you can drive to and from work and anywhere else requires your parents in the car. At 17 you can go for your senior liscense - no restrictions - only if you have your permit, take driver's ed., and pass a road test. Otherwise if you have your permit you get you can apply for your senior liscense when you turn 18 and just watch a 5 hour video about crashes. See my problem is I turned 17 last month but my parents keep putting off taking me for my permit, and I have to apply in person. So unless they take me I have no way of getting there... unless I ask my boyfriend, but I feel bad asking him to drive me places.

Anywayz I've cooled off now... though my mom still isn't talking to me... my boyfriend will probably be in school tomorrow so I guess he's getting better... thanks anyway for the advice. I just wish I could've done something more to help him.

[Kaisharga]

Don't feel too bad. You did exactly what he needed, and from the sounds of it, he needed some time alone for a bit. So ya did good. :)

As for the car thing, if you start saving up now you can get one after you have your permit :agree:

And get another friend to drive you to your test things :lol:

--Kaisharga :flippy:

[RosaMystica7]

LoL thanks kai. :D

When I graduate my parents are gonna give me the down payment on my car. I'm *hoping* that maybe maybe maybe I'll be able to get that down payment a little early... cuz I have my eyes set on either a blazer or a pick-up, not too sure on specifics just yet... It's too bad none of my other friends drive. :( That's ok though I'm a quick learner, I'll get my liscense in a few months. :jester:

[RosaMystica7]

Originally posted by Kaisharga

And, confidentially, I can say to wait on him hand and foot without controversy, because us guys have to do the exact same thing anyway.


Kai could you elaborate on this a little? (Mostly the 'because us guys have to do the exact same thing anyway' part.) Do all guys feel like this about their girls? Honestly I'd be a bit offended if my boyfriend thought he always had to wait on me hand and foot.

[Kaisharga]

You know the old adage/joke that it's really the woman that 'wears the pants' so to speak in the relationship/marriage/whatever? Yeah, a bit like that. See AngelEyes's post in the Chat forum about The Rules.

--Kaisharga