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Secrets Of Attracting The Opposite Sex

1: Make eye contact.

Some people think that "making eye contact" means a slow, deliberate gaze from across a crowded room. I suspect that most people define this as "staring" and will be made uncomfortable by it.

Eye contact is best made while walking up to somebody or talking to them. Holding the other person's gaze then will communicate that you are intensely interested in him or her.

2: Smile.

This displays friendliness and self-confidence, which, as we have seen, is viewed as one of the most attractive qualities a member of the opposite sex can have.

3. Use an opening line.

This is important. And by the way, the simple straightforward approach is best-at least this is what women said in a study involving 1,000 of them conducted by psychologist Chris Kleinke and reported in national magazines.

(Another study by psychologist Charlene Muehlenhard of Texas A&M University found the straightforward approach was rated highest by men, too.)

Kleinke's survey of college women found that they rate these as the best opening lines:

"Hi."
"I feel a little embarrassed about this, but I'd like to meet you."
"Do you want to dance?"
"That's a very nice dress you have on."
"Can I buy you lunch?"

Smug or flippant lines were rated as the biggest turn-off, these heading the list:

"You remind me of a woman I used to date."
"Bet I can outdrink you."
"I play the field and I think I just hit a home run with you."
"Your place or mine?"

Muehlenhard also found that women were turned off by men who kept pestering them for dates after they politely turned them down.

4: Expand the conversation by telling something of yourself.

Just a line or two, such as: "I'm new to this area and I thought I'd try out a new restaurant." Or, "We're fortunate to have such a nice park in this area." This will give the other person a chance to pick up on what you say if he or she is interested in continuing the conversation.

5. Encourage the other person to open up and talk about whatever interests him or her-careers, hobbies and interests.

Give the other person your undivided attention. Ask questions. Show him that you find them fascinating. Put them on a pedestal-and let them know it.

A tip given by university psychiatrist Danilo Ponce is to pay compliments--and make them personal. "Don't compliment a woman's earrings-compliment her beautiful smile," he says.

Of course, appearing graceful and relaxed, as in every social interaction, is of utmost importance in flirting.

As you can see, flirting follows essentially the same steps as any other type of conversation. The main things that differentiate flirting from other kinds of conversation are the following:

Flirting is light-hearted. More smiling, laughing and humor are found here than in most other conversations.

No heavy subjects here. Politics, crime and other serious topics are "out."
Intensity.

The person you are flirting with is the most important person in the world for the time you are together.

He or she is given your complete and utmost attention for that moment. So flirting can be seen as a faster and surer way of communicating romantic intentions than "ordinary" conversation.

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